OVER 3 YEARS NOW...

It's been over 3 years since I've posted.  WOW!  How time flies...

As I reflect on the past years and read my old posts, I'm always amazed at the places (both physically and mentally) I've been.  Life has such a way of propelling us along on the wisp of the wind, or a wave of the waters.  If only I were this enlightened years ago...

I've waved goodbye to my job on the River.  It was good and did me well.  I healed out there on the rolling River in my own little cocoon.  I think I've grown and matured.  Yes...it is possible, even in your 60s.   Life is ever-changing and growth is always possible.

I threw in my life-jacket that gave me comfort in knowing that I always had a job if I needed it.  I exchanged it for the uncertain world of real estate, which I love.  So far, it has been good to me.

I have left the River, but not my many, many friends that I made out there.  River folk stay connected. We've seen and supported each other in our worst mental states.

My comfort with myself has changed me.  I know who I am and how I want to live my life. Though there are always doubts about decisions to be made, I try to make them with thoughtfulness and insight.  Every year has new adventures.  This year I said "hello" to 2017 AND Medicare...LOL.

My wish for all of you is that your journey brings you happiness and contentment.  Life is way too short to be unhappy...

Home...

Home now after 25 days on the River.  I'm glad to have a short trip.  My Capt. retired after almost 40 years on the River.  Awe inspiring that half that time was spent floating the current and watching the cities and side scenery go by.  He will be missed.  My Pilot was promoted to Capt. of another boat.  I cried.  As years go by, changes become more profound.  My crew is becoming more and more my family.  I leave there to come "home" I realize that there is no one to be happy that I'm home...no one to greet me as I walk in the door...it can be a lonely feeling.  As much as I want to "get off", the more I realize the solitude is still here...only in a different place.  And so, I re-group...embrace my feelings and figure out a solution.  We are all in charge of our destiny....so I will volunteer.  And what better place than at our local Lock & Dam Museum.  There are always solutions if we just get quiet and listen to our hearts....

It's almost the end of February and the days are getting longer and warmer.  This is my 13th day and, as always, the "days of doubt" are upon me.  I doubt whether this is what I really want to be doing.  I doubt where I want to live....But as these "middle days" pass and I'm over the hump....I once again will tell myself what a good job I have.  It is truly amazing how fast time passes.  With each passing season of new life, growth, readying for a long sleep, and then the hibernation of winter, comes new understanding and comfort with life as it is.  Every passing season brings with it the knowledge that I have survived and am proud of who I am. 

Time, peace and months later

Here it is more than a year since my last post....a lot has happened.  Mostly peace and time.  I never thought I'd be here this long, but the River tends to grow on you.  Or...maybe it's the 30 days off at one time that I really like.  I've grown comfortable with my job and with my crew.  We've become more like family.  I've quit depending on my family and friends for those things I should be finding within myself.  I've grown.  I've learned that I am the only one responsible for my happiness.  Writing is cathartic for me.  It clears my head and puts my thoughts into compartments so I can let go of those that are painful and hold on to those that sustain me.  The peace that I have in my life now is comforting.  For those of you who are searching, my only piece of wisdom is the old saying....."That which does not kill you, makes you stronger".  And peace comes with strength.  Have a great day!

Drift in the River

The river is up and there is much drift in the river.  The boat rumbles as the logs and trees roll under the hull.  The engines stop and then reverse to dislodge anything that might be caught in the rudders or wheels.  It's a noisy trip so far.  Most times the engines lull me to sleep.  The sounds are a constant that tell me we are safely navigating the river.  The beauty is marred by the debris that is floating along beside us.....old tires, plastic, styrofoam, coolers....all sorts of things man has made.  Even grafitti....in the form of a message in a bottle fished out of the river by one of the deckhands.  The excitement overshadowed by the "off color" message inside.  This is not the place to be for a "busy person" or one who is not comfortable with solitude.  Little things delight us out here....stories from those who've worked on the river for many years.  It's a life like no other....

What a beautiful morning out here on the river.  The sky was a beautiful pink orange and the river had a mist rising above it.  The Chief told me it will soon be in the teens in Minneapolis. The beauty and wonder of being in the middle of the river in my own little "cacoon" gives me a sense of peace.  I am able to put the "ugly" of the divorce in another compartment of my life.

My Morning Commute....